Love From Afar
Posted May 28th, 2010
This is one of the most useful concepts I have learned yet, in my journey of understanding. I will attempt to explain it. It’s called, “Loving from afar.”
When I talk about Love, to me it means that I Love each and every being on the planet. If you do the thought experiment of having this attitude, the first problem becomes obvious: “What about that one guy that I hate? Can I Love him?” or, “What about the person who stole from me? How can I Love him?”
The answer is yes. You can Love them. In our thought experiment, the next hurdle approaches: “But if I Love the one who has hurt me intentionally, am I still Loving myself?”
The answer is maybe. You have choices to make. If a person has harmed you intentionally or from neglect (lack of awareness of the consequences of their actions — which is a choice they made: to not cultivate awareness of their actions’ consequences), that person is a candidate to be loved from afar.
Here’s a concrete example: I used to have a friend who was manipulative, who constantly played the victim to fool others into giving her undue attention, Love, money, you-name-it. She would lie if it was to her advantage. When I realized I could never trust something she said because sometimes it wasn’t true (trust is binary: yes or no. If there’s the slightest doubt, your word is worth nothing), I cut her out of my life completely. I only associate with people I can look in the eye and trust.
But I still Love her. I Love her from afar. This is how it works: without malice, you calmly and casually refuse to associate with someone who does not behave acceptably, by your standards. Yes, you are the King or Queen of your reality. You choose your standards, and you don’t compromise. But you still Love each and every being from afar. I hope the person described above gets over her victim complex and learns to Love unconditionally. I send her my Love in my meditations. But I do not attend her parties.
Is there someone in your life whom you Love, but would be better off Loving from afar?